Oh Crumbs Chief

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The luck of the... praying mantis?

There's a praying mantis on our mum, and on our snake bush (which is really just a boring green bush that I want to take out, but won't because there is a family of snakes that prefers it for a sun spot in the summer, ergo the name snake bush). It's been there for a couple of days now, and I greet it each morning, and bid it good night in the evening. My sister says it's good luck, which is really a nice thought, but I'm doubtful as to the authenticity of her statement. Please, feel free to prove her right. Just don't tell me it's a harbinger of evil. Thanks!

That was just a nice prelude to this entry, which is really about my sister, family members and friends. I'm having a tough time right now... I don't really speak to my mother very often; I haven't since she and my father divorced a few years back. The way I see it, she did what she needed to do - she got out of what she thought was a bad marriage, and did what she wanted to do, which is become active in the church (that's a whole other story). But the way three of four of me and my siblings feel is that when she walked out on my dad, she left her kids behind to. So I FINALLY told my mother she was going to be a grandmother, and she did what she always does, which is turn the story around so that it's about her. I won't go into detail, because the real issue I am encountering is that she didn't offer to help. No: I'll come visit and make you dinner, or help you clean - or even just sit there with me when I don't want to be alone. NOTHING.

My sister, who I am very close with, calls frequently and even sent a cute little toy. I told her the other night that I'm feeling kind of lonely - she lives 12 hours away, my closest friends are all at least an hour away, even Chris' mom is an hour away, and she has her mom and her husband's mother, both of whom are in declining health, to take of right now. So I'm lonely. That's all. I don't want people to pity me - I just want them to be here. Chris keeps saying everyone should visit us now so I can rest (he's a good Chris... he's trying really hard), but everyone is so busy. Which I understand, because I'm really busy too; I guess it's just the emotions. It would also help, probably, if I INVITED people to come see me, instead of just waiting for them to offer. I think I'll start there.